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HOW TO DISAGREE

How to Disagree

Gil & Renee of Rich Relationships Refuge, we believe disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, including marriage. However, how we handle these disagreements can significantly affect our relationship's overall health and growth. In this article, we will share our perspective on approaching disagreements in a way that honors God and strengthens the bond between spouses.

  1. Embrace Humility: The foundation of resolving disagreements lies in embracing humility. Gil & Renee encourage couples to remember that both partners are equal in God's eyes. Approach your disagreements with a humble attitude, recognizing that you are not always right and that your spouse's perspective deserves respect and consideration.

  2. Seek Understanding: Before jumping into an argument, take the time to seek understanding. Listen actively to your spouse's point of view, and genuinely try to understand their feelings, concerns, and motivations. Empathy is crucial in finding common ground and resolving to satisfy both parties.



  1. Communicate with Love and Respect: Remember the importance of communicating with love and respect when expressing your perspective. Use gentle and kind words, avoiding harsh or demeaning language that can escalate the situation. Let your spouse know you value their opinions, even if you disagree.

  2. Practice Active Listening: Active listening is essential for resolving disagreements effectively. Show genuine interest in your spouse is words and try to fully comprehend their thoughts and feelings. Reflect on their words to ensure understanding and demonstrate your engagement in the conversation.

  3. Keep God at the Center: As Christian marriage coaches, we firmly believe that God should be central to every relationship. When facing disagreements, invite God into the process. Pray together, seeking His wisdom, guidance, and peace. Let the principles of love, forgiveness, and grace, as taught by Jesus Christ, guide your words and actions.

  4. Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing and environment play a significant role in how disagreements unfold. Choose a suitable time and place to have constructive discussions, ensuring that both partners are in a calm and receptive state of mind. Avoid public confrontations or times when you feel overwhelmed or exhausted.

  5. Look for Common Ground: Instead of approaching disagreements as battles to be won, strive to find common ground. Look for areas of agreement or compromise that can bridge the gap between your perspectives. Remember that you are on the same team, working towards a shared future.

  6. Practice Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Inevitably, disagreements can cause hurt and strain in a relationship. As Christian marriage coaches, we encourage couples to practice forgiveness and seek reconciliation. Just as God has forgiven us through the sacrifice of Jesus, we should extend forgiveness to our spouses. Choose love over bitterness and work towards healing and restoration.



Conclusion: Disagreements are an opportunity for growth and more profound understanding in a marriage. By embracing humility, seeking wisdom, communicating with love and respect, practicing active listening, keeping God at the center, choosing the right time and place, looking for common ground, and practicing forgiveness and reconciliation, couples can navigate disagreements in a way that strengthens their bond and honors their Christian faith. Remember, not the absence of disagreements that defines a strong marriage but how they are handled.

Certainly! Here are five Bible verses that provide guidance and inspiration for handling disagreements in Christian marriage:

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV): "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

This verse reminds us to approach disagreements with humility, gentleness, and patience, emphasizing the importance of maintaining unity and peace in our relationships.

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV): "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

This verse encourages us to respond to disagreements with gentleness and kindness, understanding that our words can diffuse or escalate conflicts.

Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV): "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

This passage teaches us the importance of seeking reconciliation and resolution in our relationships before approaching God in worship. It highlights the significance of addressing conflicts and seeking forgiveness in a timely manner.

Colossians 3:13-14 (NIV): "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."



These verses remind us of the necessity of forgiveness and love in our relationships. We foster unity and harmony in our marriages by extending forgiveness to one another as God has forgiven us.

Proverbs 17:27 (NIV): "The one who knows uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered."

This verse emphasizes the importance of using wisdom and self-control when expressing thoughts and opinions. It encourages us to choose our words carefully and maintain an even-tempered demeanor, promoting healthy and constructive communication during disagreements.

These Bible verses provide timeless wisdom and guidance for handling disagreements in a Christian marriage, promoting love, forgiveness, humility, and unity.







Certainly! Here are five new habits that can contribute to a healthy and thriving marriage:

  1. Daily Quality Time: Make it a habit to spend intentional and uninterrupted time together daily. Set aside a specific time for meaningful conversations, shared activities, or simply being present with each other. This habit strengthens the emotional connection and fosters a sense of closeness.

  2. Expressing Gratitude: Cultivate a habit of expressing gratitude to your spouse regularly. Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate the little things they do for you and the relationship. Appreciation fosters positivity and reinforces your love and value for each other.

  3. Active Listening: Develop the habit of active listening during your interactions. Truly focus on what your spouse is saying, maintain eye contact, and provide verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are fully engaged. This habit promotes effective communication, empathy, and understanding.

  4. Daily Acts of Kindness: Incorporate daily acts of kindness into your routine. Whether it's a thoughtful note, a small favor, or a loving gesture, these acts demonstrate your care and consideration for your spouse. Such habits cultivate an atmosphere of love, thoughtfulness, and mutual support.

  5. Regular Date Nights: Make it a habit to have regular date nights or special outings as a couple. Set aside dedicated time to nurture your romantic relationship and have fun together. This habit helps keep the spark alive, strengthens the bond, and provides an opportunity for shared experiences and growth.

Remember, forming new habits takes time and consistency. Be patient with each other as you incorporate these habits into your daily lives, and celebrate the progress and positive changes that come with them.



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