Because weddings are so expensive these days, many people skip the ceremony and put that money down on paying off a home or school loan. on average, this makes sense when you consider how financially disadvantaged young couples find themselves before they even commit more than $25,000 to marriage. so, are weddings so important? is it worth it?
marriage has three purposes, each with its price. but a single goal is so valuable that it should not be neglected.
one of the purposes of a wedding ceremony is to celebrate marriage. in some cultures, the celebration can last a week or more, and the couple's parents (or friends) support their lavish lifestyle while throwing parties. in our culture, the celebration usually only lasts one night, but it can still be expensive.
another often unstated but common purpose is to show off the bride. it's his day. she takes center stage, and the more she spends, the more valuable she appears to guests and, presumably, to the groom.
but the third goal of marriage is the most precious of the three. this conference is to give a commitment ceremony. before god and the witnesses, the bride and groom say their vows to each other.
Do you have a wedding?
the main objection to holding a wedding ceremony these days is the cost. but the most crucial part is the cost of a wedding ceremony. anyone can afford one. the other parts put a wedding ceremony beyond most people's financial reach.
so consider organizing a wedding ceremony without celebrating or showing the bride. i know some of the advice is not what people expect, especially the bride. but when you consider the alternatives (no wedding or ceremony until all expectations are met), a ritual begins to seem reasonable.
one of the advantages of a wedding ceremony only or very limited (cake and punch at the church reception) is that you can invite as many guests as you want. 50-500, but the cost is almost the same. the more people witness your marriage, the more support you will have for years. these people will listen to your wishes and hold you accountable for fulfilling them. after all, that's the real purpose of marriage.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a worthy companion for him. Now the Lord God made all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever name man gave to each creature, that was his name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to all the beasts of the field. But Adam could not find suitable help for him. So the Lord God gave the man a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping he took one of his ribs and closed the place with flesh. The Lord God made a woman from the rib of the man and brought her to the man.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast, but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, See, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast.’ But they paid no attention and went off, one to his farm, another to his business.
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”
Mark 7:13 ESV
Thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”
John 2:2 ESV
Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples.
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
When man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not abide in man forever, for he is flesh: his days shall be 120 years.” The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown. The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his way. Now Isaac had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negeb. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself.
For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it